How not to die

Dorf against Human.
Fen against Thoom.
TRAP against Safari.
Husband against wife.

Who will win?!?

Kalian established his position as Evil Mastermind (and fabulous decorator) with the creation of his Arena of Death. When he offered to show this masterpiece to Cammie, BKC, Ackkbar and I, none of us had any idea of his true intentions. Our eyes were only for the arena itself; a huge space ringed with Greater Deaths. All innocence, he lured us inside...and then shut us in! He gave us his ultimatum: the last one standing would be set free. 

True to form, Ackkbar was dead before the contest even started. BKC resisted my pitiful Atkus and soon both members of TRAP were down for the count. Cammie and her husband circled around the arena, exchanging blows more or less equally. 

With both combatants so matched, it was impossible to guess the outcome. Truly! Who would have guessed that they'd both fall??


Best outcome EVER.

Kalian, stumped, let us all free in the end. Honestly, you'd think TRAPpers would be better at sniffing out traps...

In other doomy news, the feared Thaumaturge's Lair has been taken! It was all very chaotic. Mystics had moved the portal into the lair itself, and the group was charging in all at once over and over again. Chainers would dive in and try to reach the portal before the Bodyguards and Curates and lightning got to them. Horus healers would gather in Falinea's Garden to resuscitate the fallen. Chainers would end up needing rescued themselves. And once everyone was out, they would run back in to repeat the cycle!

Talk about TRAP heaven.

Thaumy wandered on past every so often. If only the tailor sold cloaks that fancy..
Although much of the junk had been cleared out after several hours, there were not enough people still around to take the Lair. I had to hit the sack - Fishy just doesn't have that kind of endurance! Apparently not long after everyone had given up, Garr jumped in and nuked the place with his lava cloak. Not only did he answer the prayers of the Lair group, he also scored a point for Champions everywhere. Hooray for Garr!

While Champions became a little bit cooler, I am still on the track to Rangerdom. My progress hit the ground running with the completion of my last two challenges: the Giant Crawler and Plains Maha! Thanks go out to Talin, Fresleven and Starsword Eojek (for the GC), and Ravenstorm, Rizal, Pendarric - and Stars again :D


Looking back on all the challenges, I think the Island Panther was the most fun (just because you can mow those down like a hot knife through butter) and the Giant Crawler was the absolute worst. Although the crawler roast afterwards wasn't so bad...and the mounted claw serves as a pretty good bottle opener.


A hunt in CD turns to tragedy thanks to unexpected company. Yikes!

Cited for looking fabulous. Do we still have to pay the fine?

Instructions on how not to die.

Lofar reveals the depths of his soul on a Glen hunt.

TRAP's master plan hits a wall.

Better yet, just make us all mystics.

Something interesting that happened this week was my first Lyfeing. Starsword, Tip'ii, Talin, Baffina and I were the only people out and about that day, so we decided to make a worldwide event by all of us going hunting. Baffina declined, but promised she'd be there to scrape up the pieces when we were flattened by lyfes. It's good to know she cares.

Anyways, some lousy Wyrm Lyfelidae came along and knocked me out, infecting me in the process. Thank goodness I was wearing my sacrificial shirt and not the red one!

Don't get me wrong. Lyfelidae are great. But I have very high hygienic standards! Lyfeism isn't for the faint of nose. Just imagine all the shampoo you'd have to invest in. Worst of all, though, my wuss level skyrocketed. It was already pretty high to begin with.

Stars, Tip'ii and Talin very very kindly pitched in for the cure. Thank you!



With love,

Give me dental or give me death!

What a week! 
FMOCR, a smashing comeback in the Glen, the Thaumaturge's Lair conquered, orga demanding dental...with enough time to spare for those darned thooms to get to making lines again. There really is no rest for the weary. 

While the Open Hunt often hunts in the glen, it is rare for the entire group to take on the mysterious "spiders". Often the group splits up, the lower levelers taking on more T'rool instead. This week we found out exactly why we're warned to stay away from the spiders. Boy, was it FUN.

The bigger they stand, the harder they fall?

We navigated through a maze of fire and lava, and slowly drew creatures forth from the final room into the waiting swords of the group. It was a painstaking process, and it was very annoying to charge into the room and run into a mess of lava walkers and fire beetles who'd decided to respawn within that last minute. The Ctenizidae (aka bigass boss spider) gleefully dragged everyone in with webs. He didn't try and eat us or anything - maybe he just likes collecting exiles?

We lay there for quite a while, while Ctenizidae bragged to all his spider buddies about his new acquisitions (Suu'ubs are very collectable, I hear!). When the rescue party came, it was like all of Puddleby had risen to the challenge. It was a veritable mob!

Sweet, sweet revenge. 

Note to self: beware of Suu!

The Gods were up to some silliness in the Fairgrounds again. This time they'd brought along friends (and cookies!). 

Super Chicken was having an animated discussion with Their Godliness about horns, and in his distraction forgot the #1 Horn-Playing Rule: watch your beak!

After much mysterious muttering and fist-bumping with the Dudes, the mighty Yappy declared satisfaction and disappeared, leaving behind a hungry swarm of beetles. 

The mystics were the first to go. The Dudes obviously knew a bad situation when they saw one and hightailed it out of there. 

And they were never seen again.

...or were they?

Sillyness quotia fulfilled for the night, Puddleby got down to some serious bizness - the FMOCR. Wangah Rah was the mystic for the night and guide. The orga, as per usual. were very unhappy to see us storming into their camp, but there wasn't much they could do about it.


Maybe it was our visit that stirred things up. Maybe the orga got tired of guarding that magician and getting all chopped up for it. Who knows? Last night the orga went on strike, catching exiles in the crossfire (does it count as "being caught" if you run into the crossfire?). Some orga called Van Bones of the Green Scar rounded himself up an orga union. It was past a labor dispute before you could say "sick leave"; It was a veritable labor brawl.

The bossman himself never showed up, although his Green Squad was out in force. Eden the Thoom, fallen within enemy (picket) lines for some time, was able to file a more complete report. Check out The Warrior Thooming.

More to come - what's that? You wanted to see thooms? Bah! Have it your way.

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Unfair fights

Alley cats is fierce!


But not as fierce as an Orga Berserk ): 

After rescuing my journal from the Clanhouse, I found myself in a terrible dilemma: there was nothing to write about! No daring rescues, no spider invasions. Even TRAP has been quiet these days. And then...all of a started pouring in from every which way. Some fun hijinks around Puddleby:

It took FOREVER, but with running back and forth to North Forest and patient healing from Tasus, I tripped up this Dire Feral and dragged it back home as a trophy. Who's laughing now?

Now how'd this guy get into the forest? 

:D Island Panthers are funny.

Cats! Always getting under your feet...

A FA rescue goes horribly wrong, thanks to a pack of cave cobras. 

I finally remembered to get my sunstone tuned. Ansset kindly upgraded it to a shiny sungem, so now Fishy can join in on the TRAP chatter. Hooray! Thanks Annset!

Death Trap Noids recently underwent a terrible transformation when the very ground itself opened up, setting loose poisonous Wood Noids and Executioner Noids (with scythes! yipe!). The last Chaos Storm wiped it back to normal. But even without deadly scythe-wielding noids, it's still a dangerous place...why else call it DTN?

Some exiles fell there recently, as far as DTN 3, and a rescue group went to save them. Lots of falling ensued.


But the worst was yet to come. Natas (who apparently lives in DTN) was felled in the process of saving the fallens!

Ba'alzamon, TRAP awards you the Understatement of the Day award. Wear it with pride.
The majority of the group was rescued - sadly, some had to depart when the noids surged back with a vengeance. Maybe I'll stick with Dire Ferals for now. You know where you stand with them. 

Til next time,
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Roasty toasty rescue


The drakes are at it again. Not long ago a Fire Drake swooped into town and took off with Galaade, TorcherBaby and the Sprout. The two sylvans probably got brought along to pick his teeth after he'd finished with the main course. Azriel gathered a rescue party in TC.

I'm pretty sure he meant "watch your feet". The sound of a dozen toes being stubbed at once is nightmare material. Also, how'd I manage to end up in front?

When we emerged from the cavern, we soon realized that half the group had been left behind. This set the tone for much of the rescue: Devil's Island can be a confusing place, and its volcano absolutely takes the cake! I took a step in the wrong direction while we were hunting for the Drake's Den and ended up at the other end of nowhere until Talin and Kalian came along.

With much patience, the rescue party set foot at last in the Den. The critter in question was nowhere to be found, but we could hear its incessant shrieking all throughout the cave. 

We're doooomed.

Cannibal drakes?

The fallens were located and healed. Some folks were all for leaving it at that, but...who could go to all that trouble and NOT kill the drake?? Srsly.

Apparently it didn't even matter, so :P Bad Fishy! No grumbling! The drake was slain and chained off by Kalian, and we all went home safe and sound. Oh. Well, most of us. Sproutfoot had dozed off during the long wait and couldn't be poked into leaving, so with regrets we left the lil mystic to wake up on her own. I'm pretty sure she made it anyone verify that??

(Sorry Sprout)

Til next time,
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Lyfe studies cont.


While our expedition to Groar!'s gem did not bear any fruit (a lack of interest was rather prevalent) I did get the chance to make a few sketches. Just out of curiosity, you see :') I had a hunch that didn't quite follow through, but nonetheless it was interesting!

Above is the largest pattern I noticed in the Lyfelidae Caves, and seemingly the most important. Thirteen smaller symbols encircle a central one (the sun?). Our zodiac has twelve constellations. Lyfelidae come in twelve varieties, unless Groar!/Rowl count. Do we know of anything that comes in thirteens? I also looked for correlations between symbols here and those in the power room of the Flying Island, but didn't find much of a connection. One or two things appeared to match up - not enough to decide a direct link, however. Just for interest's sake I've included the text from both the power room and the alchemical laboratory (taken from a sketch by Ackkbar, his gigantic Thoom noggin is covering the last symbol though :P )
The one above is from the power room and below is from the laboratory.

I would love to go check out said laboratory. It's kinda tough to find. 
If anyone knows of other strange symbols found about our little island chain, please give me a yell! It may be worth the time to try and compare them all. And if we don't find anything, then we can go have a cheering-up drinking party afterwards. Win-win scenario.
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Chigger happy


Another happenstance of recent times was a mini-invasion of poisonous chiggers in East Field. Now, as we all know, poison chiggers are not native to Puddleby. Was it a warning? Are our chigger enemies on the move? Little red buddies, there may be traitors in your midst - beware! My own brush with these fellows was not without consequence. They can pack a whallop.

You lay down for a nap one second, and the next...kapow!

Julius could be responsible for this next bit, but I highly doubt it.

After scratching my chin over this strange dirty spot for a little bit, I decided to chalk it down as just "one of those things" and headed back to TC, where Nuniel quickly engaged me in an excited explanation of an ethereal trap laid in East Town. I had one of those funny suspicions when she offered to show me where it had been, and sure enough - the dirty spot was the remains of a devilish plot. Someone had laid a row of ethereal portals across the border of TC and East Town, as well as right in front of the jumping-over point on the fence. Anyone without fast reflexes would soon find themselves stranded on the Ethereal Plane! Eagurd had a narrow call as well. I'm not sure town would be any less safe with him on the EP, though...


As we mulled over it, the spots rapidly began to disappear until the only trace of them remained in memory. Nuniel didn't seem to approve of this trap at all, but if the devious mind that thought this one up wants to join TRAP, be my guest!

Several people fell into traps of the usual sort. Muwe had found himself in a pickle on Gungla Island (not literally, however). Enter the midbie rescue team!


This was the first time I'd seen this river crossing in action. Those islanders knew how to build a puzzle - if the clumsy exiles set the grass on fire, well, you've got a river. We ran into Drum and Miug, who were hunting the island, and we all left together. It was good times all around.

Alas, as we know, all rescues do not end so cheerfully. Foxx had been headed, I think? but accidently got lost and landed on Tenebrion's Island, where he was swarmed by beasts and crushed by rocks. I heard of his plight and went to help...and got swarmed by beasts and crushed by rocks. We had a lively conversation about shoes while we waited for rescue - he simply does not understand the importance of a fashionable shoe. Sigh. Han and Cowboy came to save us. Guess what happened to them? BKC broke the curse and chained us away. Hoorah!


But the trial didn't end there. The Darshak had decided that they hated me more than Foxx and threw more rocks my way. A swarm of Horus descended on town. For a while it was touch and go as Andrea negotiated a fee - she gave up in the end, as you can see. Don't worry, though! You don't have to leave town in order to get swarmed by beasts and/or crushed by rocks!

  And as always, the threat of sentient rats looms imminent. 

There are foes lurking around any corner, whether they be mastermind super genius chiggers, ethereal traps, mobs of hungry death vermine or culturally-inclined rodents. All of them are dangerous. Beware!

Another public service announcement brought to you by,

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The finer things

When my journal found itself
Beneath a pickled beast
Stories were thus trapped inside
Without hope of release

After found, I'd hoped to write
An epic poem to highlight
What had occurred between

But then as now I stared in vain
At a blank page, wordless again

"Wow!" says I to myself
"Your rhyming really bites
It will take a miracle now
To set this mess to rights."

"Do we have a god of inspiration?
How about poems?" I ask.
No? Well, crud. Then I'll pray to Gaia -
and hope that she can multitask.

So now to all, I sadly state
That you are stuck with boring
Sentences and stuff.
Maybe I should stop trying to rhyme now. It's obviously not working.


Well, one big thing that must be addressed - the Puddleby Player's marvelous play, the Wizard of Peaceton! (and a wonderful wiz he wuz too). 

It was the culmination of many, many rehearsals and lots of funny theater talk. One of our rehearsals was peppered with shrieks from outside. It was not until we were set loose that we discovered the agony was pun-inflicted. Darshak Tacolytes?! Aaaargh! And there was so much more, such as these delicious Tequila Wurms...

But at last the big day came. The audience assembled that night, and the air was electric with impatience as everything was made ready backstage. Rakshasa entertained everyone while we fled backstage to fortify ourselves for the ordeal to come.

What? No, not the play! I meant Pun'isher and Frozen Ham's comedy sketch. They slayed the audience (almost literally) with a barrage of chicken puns that were just too fow-gah, FOUL to dwell on for long. But after they had been put out of our misery, then the show began. Measle introduced the first scene...

and the rest, as they say, was history. We laughed. We may have cried. The male members of our little troupe hit notes that were astonishingly high. I did my best not to steal the show (since there were PPD deputies about) but it was very difficult. What can I say, I was BORN to be the Wizard!

Our audience shook dust from the rafters as we took our final bows. Also, see the lovely backdrop there onstage? Masterfully designed by our own Fen President. Who knew he was such an artisté? At the end Measle offered membership of the Puddleby Players to both Salazar and I, which we accepted with much aplomb. Then the beer arrived and, like all Puddlebean celebrations, degenerated into drunken chaos. 

And so, with an overdose of puns and a heaping helping of culture, the play was done. What a ride! Thanks to our glorious leader and all the other Players.

Let's see. Other achievements were the promotion of a new Mystic:

Admirable Ackkbar's ascension to the second circle:

and Aryton's promotion to...dead.

Geotzou, Lord of the Kudzu, taught me a thing or two about kudzu and nightli farming. I'd never have the patience for it, but the whole process is really quite interesting. Who knew plants were so complicated?


 Some fun TRAP stuff happened. 

Attack of the poisoned grog!


We met an interesting Agratis who claimed to be from a land similar to ours. Those silly Agratis, they're always full of stories like that. After he'd stopped his plans to murder all of TRAP's leaders and steal our members from us, he turned out to be nice. He seemed to like the ladies a lot (I had to repeat multiple times that I was engaged). 

Edge Lunos took a few of us on a Gungla Island hunt. We started with beating up Blood Meshra, then moved on to the cobra cave. Surprisingly we weren't all murdered by cobras and were able to leave with both life and limb intact. Amazing!

One of our inductions to the Clan was Trowl, who really, when you think about it, was practically a member already. We just made it official. IEGYST!

TRAP only grows stronger by the day. We are now up to 25 members! We recently wrested control of the Clan House from Light & Shadow and are investing some thought in placing traps for the next Clan to follow. Ackkbar did TRAP proud and sacrificed himself in the name of science when a group of exiles visited the Thaumauturge's Lair. World domination, here we come...

Oh dear. Did I say that out loud? 

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 Our Clanhouse has become astonishingly cluttered as of late. Not long ago we'd had one of our wild TRAP parties late into the night, and the next morning I woke up and my journal had disappeared! Many things happened while it languished there in the dark recesses of our lair, and I shudder just to look at the pile of sketches needing to be sorted. Maybe Libra Ann will help a gal out...she doesn't seem to have much else to do.

Anyways, I found it yesterday while scrounging for loose change . Someone had kicked it underneath our stuffed Haremau. It's a bit on the whiffy side - eau du pickled cat -- but the good news is that it's back. Expect more entries soon!

Over and out,

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    chipper chipper

One plus one

Now for something that has never happened before - an invasion of Orga, right here in our own backyard!
Well, no matter. Beating each other to a pulp every so often must hold some sort of solace, or we wouldn't do it so often. It must just be for fun, right? Can the orga really think that, this time, they're going to finally beat those rotten exiles?

Silly, silly orga.

I was drowsing behind some bookshelves in the library and happened to glance up at the message board we keep posted on the wall. Most of the messages there are from Crius or about exiles getting promoted to a higher circle, but this time Muwe had dropped a note that the orga were invading from Tanglewood. I vaguely remembered him coming in about half an hour ago, so the invasion was probably over - but I stuck my book behind a shelf and went to investigate. Libra Ann wasn't very happy about that one.

The invasion was far from over. At that point the exiles were losing. Several were fallen east of the meadow. Our fighting force was rather small compared to the swarms of large death vermine and orga, including many Dredlocks.

Our strategy ended up being a fighter swap: one would get chained away, another would fall to take their place. We may not have made any progress at all if it wasn't for those cutting down a vermine or two every run. Slow going, that. The orga were pleased, as always, with their chance to make fun of us, and make fun of us they did.

I think he was being sarcastic.

Orga have developed a unique brand of mathematics. It may look simple, but really he was crunching numbers lightning-fast (cuz he's a Dred, get it?) calculating the odds of a smashing victory. He was absolutely right, except then the reinforcements came. They never compensate for the reinforcements. Now it's up to you to deci-what's that orga doing? Hey, cut it out! Does the word privacy mean anything to you?!

Politeness may have served this fellow better. A mere moment after invading my privacy and bringing shame upon his momma, our rescue party came crashing into the sn'ell, swords ablazing. I say it was karma! With this final, strong attack, the tide turned in our favor. The success didn't do anything for my falling record... :/

but just compare this attack with our previous one, and you can tell it was much more successful.

("Naw" is me saying to Nuniel it was fine if she followed everyone else in. Sorry, Nuni!)

After clearing the east and plowing through to the west and north, we crowded at the entrance to the Orga Camps. A type of Orga I'd never encountered before, Orga Malices, were waiting for us there. For all their bulk, the giant blue orga were very difficult to hit. Dredlock lightning hit us from all sides - we were forced to retreat several times with our hurt and fallen.

Some were there to shop - forget the orga. Amethyst upgraded her wardrobe during a lull in the fighting. I was sorely tempted by those forest green skirts, but they couldn't be much different than dark green ones. I think I'll save up for the shirt instead, if Grefo ever has any for sale.

Once the Orga Camps were cleared and the last wounded were healed, it was time to go home. My book was waiting for me, albeit a bit dirtier than before (don't glare at me, Libra! it's not my fault you don't clean back there!). Reading up on recipes wasn't as interesting as it was before. I pulled a book detailing several orga invasions. Imagine my disappointment, discovering I already knew the ending to every single tale in the book. The exiles always won!
Maybe they'll get it someday.

I hope they don't.


(OOC: surrounded by a mob of little children, so apologies if there are some mistakes in this post! I'll clean it up once they've retreated to their burrows)

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Hear ye

Kizmia's Island Gem Expedition

OOC: Sunday, May 17th

A group will be heading to investigate the gems found deep underground in KI's cave system. We will first stop at Fat Alice's hunt to see if we can learn anything from her, and then will proceed through the caves. Anyone coming, bring any weapons/mystical items you own. If we decide to try and get either of the gems, we should have as much stuff on us as possible. You never know what may do the trick. 

Anyone and everyone is welcome. Lower levels should keep in mind they may spend a lot of time fallen, but if you're willing to risk that, please come! We will do our best to keep everyone with the group, alive and included.

Please RSVP at The Sentinel if you are able to come.